Wanted

This picture is from http://www.whatibeproject.com/.  It is a picture of one of my favorite artists, Michael Franti.  He looks sad.  And who won't be if they felt that nobody wanted them?  I hope that Lake never feels this way.  I hope that he will always know how much he is loved and how much he is wanted.  I imagine that Michael's adoptive parents told him he was loved and wanted, and yet, it seems that he still felt that he was not....what can we do to help Lake feel secure and held and supported and loved and wanted? 
 

"I am not my adoption."

Respect for single parents

I have a new found respect for single parents.  I can not imagine doing all that it takes to raise a child by myself.  I have awesome support and help raising Lake in my partnership with Jillian.  We are a great team, helping each other when needed, we've gotten into a bit of a routine that works really well for us.  Lake seems to be happy and thriving.  I'm sure if I was trying to do this all alone I'd be much more stressed and not as good at parenting.

One of the things that Jillian and I are good at is taking care of each other when we're sick.  She's better than me, if I'm truthful, lots better.  She will take time off work to care for me and go to the store to get food and meds to make me feel better, even though she hates to drive.  That is exactly what she did yesterday and today when Lake came down with a fever and needed to go to the Dr. for the croup and when I started getting sick myself last night and even sicker today.  Because I knew that she would be there, to take care of Lake, I was able to stay in bed and get the rest I needed.  It would have been very difficult to care for Lake myself in the state I was in.  I really don't know how single parents do it!

About mid-morning, Jillian started feeling really sick too....all three of us sick, what a sad state of affairs.  Pumped full of day-quill I was finally able to get out of bed and help with Lake, albeit, still not feeling my best.  Jillian got a hold of a co-worker who agreed not only to bring us pho for dinner, but to clean up our kitchen a bit too...what an AWESOME and kind thing to do. I really hope we don't get her sick!!!!  With any luck, our little family will be feeling better very soon.

So here's a shout out to all the single parents I know: much respect and love, you are amazing!

January 1st, 2014

Today was a doozy, so glad Jillian had the day off to help.  Lake came down with his first real sickness yesterday and today he was super needy and sad, and wanted to be held constantly.  At one point his fever reach 103.4!  We gave him baby fever reducer and it helped some, he was able to get in a couple 20-30 minute naps, but kept waking up in tears.  I've heard it before and it's true, nothing worse than your baby being sick and there's nothing you can do about it, almost broke our hearts.  
 



Lucky for him (us), by this evening his fever broke and he managed a few smiles and a little laugh, whew! I hope he sleeps though the night :)

I haven't wanted to jinks things by saying something, but Lake had been sleeping through the night for about a month now.  There have been a few exceptions, like last night when he was so sick, but I can't tell you how awesome it is for me to finally be getting some sleep.  I'm hoping that this means that I will have more energy to do things....both around the house and in the community.








Paddle has invited me to join her, and a bunch of others, in finding a word for the year:

 Hello Beautiful People!

As many of you from the Humboldt Area tribe know and participated in, it organically became a tradition for a handful of us to choose a word each year to take to heart, embrace with conscious intention, ponder for ourselves, consider our personal relationship to, use as a tool for growth, challenge ourselves with, sit with, openly embody, etc...whatever made sense for us in relation to our word. Sometimes these words have come to us easily and are obvious, other times, it has taken some time to ruminate on a number of possible words and to consider the parts of ourselves we want to work on or better engage. In whatever case, I have found that the words tend to pick us rather than the other way around, and when you have stumbled into the "right" word, you know it in your bones. 

 

In years past I have not felt drawn to a particular word, but this year I feel one calling to me.  It's still not clear, like a voice calling from a distance, but it's there.  I'm feeling like it may have something to do with being here in Portland and finding my place in the community.  Between being new to town and Lake being born, I really haven't had much chance to get to know this place....I still read the Lost Coast Outpost every day and know more about current events in Humboldt than I do here in Portland.  In the year to come I hope to find an activity/group/volunteer opportunity/work to help me feel more connected to the place we choose to call home for now.