awe |ô|
noun
a feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder: they gazed in awe at the small mountain of diamonds | the sight filled me with awe | his staff members are in awe of him.
This is exactly how I'm feeling about April and Chris, I am in awe of them....and I do look forward to gazing upon the small mountain of baby belly in two weeks, the sight of which will surely fill me with awe as I am reminded yet again, that we are starting something beautiful.
April continues to be strong and amazing and inspirational....this from a recent post on her Facebook:
I've
been hearing that when conversations take place about the plan to give
this baby up for adoption, there is a lot of concern that I will change
my mind. I suppose it is hard for people to imagine my capacity for
this. I'm also learning there is a cultural negativity around adoption
and birth mothers partly because many do change their minds. I know
words won't necessarily ease the fear, but I can
say that I know *without a doubt* that I am making the right decision
for myself and this child. Since I made the decision I've not had one
second of doubt, not one question of whether I may keep him. In my mind
and heart this child already belongs to the Mamas more than myself.
This is why I have no doubt - I've raised a boy and a girl to adulthood. I know *everything* I am giving up in a way that young mothers do not. Since I had my first child at 17, what I don't know is an adult life without being a full-time mother. I've never made adult choices that don't take another human into consideration. In fact, I've made a lot of choices specifically for my children rather than myself, including where I live and how I make a living. I don't know what it is to make choices based purely on my own needs and desires. I need and want to experience a life that is entirely my own. I've been quietly looking forward to it for 21 years. I know I will experience significant grief when I let my son go, but I'm not really afraid of grief. It's just another part of this dance of life. What I am afraid of is not knowing who I am beyond being a mother.
This is why I have no doubt - I've raised a boy and a girl to adulthood. I know *everything* I am giving up in a way that young mothers do not. Since I had my first child at 17, what I don't know is an adult life without being a full-time mother. I've never made adult choices that don't take another human into consideration. In fact, I've made a lot of choices specifically for my children rather than myself, including where I live and how I make a living. I don't know what it is to make choices based purely on my own needs and desires. I need and want to experience a life that is entirely my own. I've been quietly looking forward to it for 21 years. I know I will experience significant grief when I let my son go, but I'm not really afraid of grief. It's just another part of this dance of life. What I am afraid of is not knowing who I am beyond being a mother.
- Rebbecca Caya, Kate Ornberg Knight, Fairbee Max and 17 others like this.
Rebbecca Caya Well said, my friend. We all are here in Portland loving you, wishing you all were here with us. xoxo
Rhonda Hallock We love you April...and Jen White and Jillian Harbaugh are going to be the best mama's in the world to the seamonkey...and you and chris will be the best amma's ever! Good choices all around!
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