Warning - Rant

Ok so have to rant!!! I was going to write a nice blog about all the garden and yard work we did this weekend, but that will have to wait...I'm soooo fucking frustrated and annoyed!

Sometimes people think that as a Hostess I have some sort of authority or responsibility to fix their problems....and I so Fucking Don't!  

Here's the story, the other day someone posted the below emails to the Imps group.  I have removed all names and made one change in red:

"There are a lot of us on the Imps list.  In the last several weeks I have been mistaken a few times for one of the [ladies] that runs the Imps.  People on the list have contacted me thinking I was someone else.  That's ok.  Mistakes happen. I was just emailed by someone not on the Imps list from what I can tell who was given my email address by someone on this list.  That's less ok.  I've had people stalk me in my life and I am cautious about giving out my contact info.  This may in fact be someone I know, but even if it was I would still have preferred to be asked before my contact info was shared with anyone." Then this evening another email - again names removed and changes in red:   Thursday, I started this thread.  It's Sunday.  I've brought up genuine, valid concerns about a personal privacy issue.  And no one of any real authority or responsibility has bothered to say anything in response.  Xx sent me a letter, offering me sympathy and tendering an apology.  While I appreciate that, more than it could be imagined, this wasn't her responsibility.  Apologizing and addressing the situation so that it doesn't happen again was the Impresses responsibility. One of the great bylaws of this community, preached and talked about for hours on end, with great passion, is a law of privacy.  My privacy was violated, and I am a member of your community.  Shit happens.  Mistakes get made.  I understand that.  But to have someone's concerns ignored because it's inconvenient--or simply "not my problem"--sends  a clear message that that person isn't a valued member of that community.  And that message was sent to me. Another bylaw of this community is one of unilateral acceptance and tolerance.  Everyone is welcome.  And frankly, that hasn't been apparent, to a great many people.  People have commented, from the very beginning, that they felt slighted, dismissed, and ignored.  I have felt slighted, dismissed, and ignored.  I consider myself a member of this community, and this has made it incredibly apparent that I am the only one who does. I'm leaving this group.  I may, in the distant future, attend an event, and I may, in the distant future, rejoin this group.  But I will never consider myself a valued member of this community again.  As bad as making one person feel like this is, please don't compound your mistakes by repeating them.  Fix it.

This was my response to the Imps group:

As one of the other XXs and as one of the Hostesses, I'd like to apologize for not saying anything.  I'm sorry that your privacy was violated, that sucks.  I really wish people would remember not to give out information.  Asspaddle has again and again posted to the group not to give out personal information to people who are not in the group.  There seems to be no way of monitoring this behavior in others....and frankly, I do find it frustrating.

I would like to point out something however, this is an all volunteer group.  And, although the three Hostesses are the VOLUNTEERS who have stepped up to organize other volunteers, we have no authority over anything or anyone.  It saddens me greatly that you think leaving the group is the answer.

But what I really wanted to say.....

Who the fuck do you think I am lady....fix it!?!?!?  Fix WHAT?  And how exactly am I suppose to do that?  My responsibililty as a Hostess to address it so it doesn't happen again and apologize?!?!  How the fuck am I suppose to do that?!  And really, it's not my fucking problem lady! I cannot control the actions of others, I therefore feel I should not be made responsible for apologizing for what they do!  I am truly sorry that you have been stalked in the past, that is scary, I'm sure.  However...how can you be sure that the person who gave out your information didn't get it from some source other than the Imps group?  Do you only know the giver though the Imps? Is this Imps group the only group you belong to? Do you have a job, go out and meet people, have a facebook page, myspace, in the phone book, ever been in the local paper?  It is amazing how easy it is to find contact information for someone these days. I'm not sure you can pin down how someone got your contact information...and again, what the fuck as I suppose to do about it?!?!?  If you don't want people to contact you or know you are a member of the Imps, them maybe you should stay in your cave.  A valued member of the community????  What have you done of value for the community?  Have you volunteered, have you given up hours and days of your life, for no pay, to produce elaborate parties, socials, workshops?  Have we met?!?!?!  Bylaws of the community??  Can I see those?  I didn't know we had bylaws, as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure we don't!!  It amazes me that you think we could or should enforce these laws even if we had them.  I'm so fucking sick and tired of having to walk on eggshells around the subject of being a sexually active adult...what is the fucking big deal if 'others' find out that you like sex?!?!?!?  I just amazes me that people have to hide the fact, that the fear is so great, that the natural act of being a healthy adult has been twisted into something bad to be hidden and kept secret...get over it already people, who fucking cares that you're fucking?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I could say more, but I probably shouldn't


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