New Mom - Part 2

I have to make a confession and correction....in Part 1 I said:
"No seriously meaningful relationships developed over the next few years...meaning there was no one that I wanted to start a family with."
And in doing so, completely forgot about one special relationship with the Car Salesman, that is, until he contacted me the other day on fb, we haven't talked in years.  The Car Salesman was a great talker.  We met at The Rathskeller, the basement bar at the historic Eureka Inn, when I was a cocktail waitress and he was a regular.  He said the sweetest things to me, telling me I was the most phenomenal woman he'd ever met....I was young, that stuff worked on me, and he was a dreamy kisser and had an amazing cock.  I really liked that cock.  I don't remember now exactly how it went down, it was over 12 years ago, but we ended moving in together and making plans for a future together....which for me meant, in part, that we started trying to get me pregnant.  Again, despite our efforts, I did not get pregnant.  Eventually, after one tell-all counseling appointment, we parted ways.

To be clear, I'm not saying that there weren't any other relationships in those years between my first divorce in 1991 and meeting the Kiwi in 1998, just that most of them were not family worthy.

Now, back to my story -
When the Kiwi first left, I was convinced that she'd be back....yes, I was in denial, but I was still so in love with her that I held on to the dream for several years.  Once my heart recovered a bit, and eventually let go of the dream, I started dating again....women.  In 2002, the woman I was dating, my Tattooed Beauty, agreed to co-parent with me, I was so happy to again be trying to get pregnant and happy to have someone who I cared deeply for to share in the experience with me.

We had talks about where to get sperm, someone we knew or a sperm bank, and all the pros and cons of each choice.  We have fun looking at on-line catalogues of donors - blond hair, brown, black, straight, curly?  Green eyes, blue? Short, tall, athletic, musical?  We chose an average sized donor, blue eyes, black hair, fair skin, Irish.  We were just about to take the next step, make the appointment with the Dr. and move forward with starting our family.

By this time in my life, I had figured out that I wanted to be in an open relationship, and that was the arrangement between the Tattooed Beauty and I....we loved each other, but knew that we would want to have sex with others.  We both enjoyed a sex life a bit on the kinky side and fit in great at the Club Risque parties. And as it turns out, I met my second husband, JWH, in 2003 at a Club Risque party.  At first it wasn't serious, but it was intense.....the three of us would hang out, trying to navigate the open relationship, dealing with fears and every other emotion under the rainbow.

Then, one day, when we were out, JWH asked me not to go to the sperm bank, but to wait for him and use his.  He didn't know how long he was asking me to wait, but knew he wasn't ready just then to be a father.  I said yes, I'd wait.  By this time my feelings for him had deepened and I could see him being a great father one day.  At the same time the Tattooed Beauty was feeling like she need more time and energy from me, I wanted more time with JWH....I had to choose, I chose him.

JWH is a sweet and kind man and the next year, when he gave me a Mother's Day card, indicating that he was ready to start a family, I asked him to marry me. The wedding was March 5, 2005. Before we were even married I started trying to get pregnant.

~I could go on, I probably shouldn't.